How deserted this site looks right now. C is back to his usual state. I think he has completely forgotten everything. Like it never happened. For me, it feels like replay everyday.

Don't know if it's because of age catching up
up But I'm beginning to feel like I should settle down soon. With C? I'm not sure. We've talked about the future but I'm not sure. Not sure if it's exactly what I want. Not sure If I can take all the emotional bashing. Take all the times when he flies into a rage. Don't know if all the happy moments can replace all the sad moments. I don't know. I wish I knew.

I want to have fun. Felt like I haven't had much since a long time. Need to get my social life back in line. Need to feel like a human. Work has been taking up most of my time. School was so much better. Don't wanna grow up at all.

Speaking of growing up, I'm turning quarter of a century old soon. 3 months to be exact. What do I want to do? I need to rethink my goals in life again. Where do I wanna be in 5 years. What do I want to achieve? Was this what I wanted 5 years ago? Shall clear some leaves to think through everything. Heh. Need to sit down and read my books instead of reading the market rules or looking at my emails. Need to spend time with myself. A need.


/will you stay if you were me?